Sunday, October 16, 2011

A Woman's Heart Part Five: Helping Hands

I have worked on many projects, and not a few happened to be with all men. See, I am good at building things. I love to look at a house and start from the ground up. I obsess over woodworking and designing beautiful creations that take labor and time to perfect. As you can imagine, my crowd that I help with on these projects rarely, if ever, consists of enthusiastic and, much less, knowledgeable women. I used to find myself offended when a man offered to handle the power tools instead of me or when the men took the saws away from me to finish the job.

All I ever got stuck doing was painting it seemed (and just an fyi, I hate painting – talk about dull). Needless to say, my frustration lead to me pushing them aside and insisting that I was apt enough to do the job, thank you very much. But, I started watching the guys as I did this. They were lost.

Thus, I adopted a new philosophy: ask how I can help rather than demand how I can help. The guys never seem to have a problem with me using the saws or the drills or doing something dangerous with the knife (*grins* --- me and knives are deadly), but they wanted to take the lead because they felt comfortable doing that. It was their way of saying “I love what you are doing, but I want to help you here.”

Men take a huge risk with women. They go against their very nature that fears failure to put their necks out for us. And what do we do? We join the feminist movement and take their careers away from them. Or we submit to them and let them lead wherever they want (which doesn't help them either).

Yet, that was not what we were designed for. Women have such a high calling for their lives that no amount of money can compensate for the loss when women abandon their post. We are the helping hands. We are the right hands of men.

A good man seeks woman for advice. Seriously. Women are made to be critiquers and supporters. Your words as a wife or even simply as a friend resonate louder than most men will ever admit. We were gifted with the unique insight that it takes to stand at the side of leaders and be their comforting advice, encouragement, and strength.

No man on this earth could do what woman does. They were not designed for this purpose. They were designed to lead and we were designed to support.

This design is not only intentional, but brilliant. A leader fails miserably without their right hands. The support feels undue pressure and eventually breaks down without a strong bearing in their path. Neither of the positions are lesser or greater, but they each need each other so much so that if one fails, the other fails.

Many women hold the Biblical position to be that of slavery. They see it as a demand to remain in the kitchen and be under a man’s leadership 24/7. Taking care of children and running the household is their only foreseeable future. (And this position stereotyped as the only Biblical position is not quite the ideal representation of being the supportive by the way.)

Yet, statistics show that when women choose a career field outside of the home, they choose one where they can help. They don’t choose one to lead others or to be prideful in their accomplishments. They choose a position to be the helping hands.

That’s what we are. It is not a job title that confines us to the home or to the career field. It is a passion and a calling that pushes our hearts into a place God designed them to go.

You remember the guys I build things with? Well, guess what? I use the power tools and saws just the same as them but in a different way. They like to finish the job; I like to start it. I like to guide the job, fix the spots that are broken and get it to perfection. The projects not only get done faster, but they get done with a joy and an appreciation that is often lost.

They respect my knowledge, seek my advice, and allow my hands to create the perfect details. But, in the end, I can see that they want to take the pride in these projects and feel like they led and accomplished them.

And you know what? That is fine by me. I want to know I mattered. I want to know I made a difference. I want to know that I was there to help and to lend what I could to the job. That is what I want and that blends so perfectly with what they want that is makes a team.

Just a side note though: if you think I am dropping the power tools or letting them carry everything or handle all the saws, you are dead wrong. Unfortunately, I happen to take a good deal of pride in my woodworking and all my hands on work too. The more rigorous life is, the better off I am.

Women and men are a team. I have offered you ladies a glimpse at God’s beauty magnified in you, the reason you fear abandonment, the reason women suffer so much oppression, and the source of your strength.

But, in the end, it all leads to one thing: God designed you, inside and out, for a very specific purpose. He placed in your hearts passions, fears, callings, hopes, and joy so that you would always thirst for Him and always want to magnify Him in your life. You all have a unique way of going out this and have absolutely gorgeous hearts to prove it.

God not only adores you, but He needs you to desire Him. He truly does. Your love and your understanding of who you are to Him mean more than anything else. Women were chosen to have specific struggles to counter our natural sinful tendencies, and in those struggles, our only answers would be God and the comfort of His callings.

What we feel and experience and long for and fight for is good. If it wasn’t a struggle, we wouldn’t have rewards, we wouldn’t have triumphs, we wouldn’t know how good things really are.

My heart goes out to every woman out there. I wrote these posts because I believe these truths can touch your hearts, can give you just a look at what God has in store for you if you would just let Him into your hearts, ladies. It is so worth the journey.

Thank you all for reading. Blessings!


  1. Great post Hannah! It is sad that the women of our culture have left their beautiful place of "helpmeet" for the false promise of independence. May our generation refuse to settle for the "liberation" our feministic ancestorers fought for--and instead embrace the biblical role of womanhood God calls us to!

  2. Hi Hannah! I found your blog mostly by accident, but I know it was God directing me to it! I really enjoyed this post. I look forward to reading the previous parts!
    Thanks for sharing what the Lord has been teaching you!

  3. This was very inspirational to read. I'm a man, and I can certainly tell you that it's the women in my life who have hurt me AND helped me the most. Your article explains this phenomenon very well. You made excellent and true observations about how your male co-woodworkers respect and heed your advice and suggestions yet wish be the ones to get the job done in the end.

    Thanks for writing this. God bless.