Friday, October 1, 2010

My Passion Is Found

Death. Such a cheery topic to think about. I remember in school when the teacher asked the infamous question of who in the room has some reservation about dying. I watched as every hand in the room was raised. . . except mine. The teacher looked at me for a moment and then dared to ask me why I had not risen my hand. With a small smile, I simply said: "I live today purely because I am given another breath of life. My purpose in life is not to fear or think of death, but simply to choose each moment based on whether or not I am honoring my Lord. And whether or not that brings me to death on this Earth, in the end it only matters that it was about Him." The teacher kind of smiled at me and asked whether or not I would ever miss the opportunity to live to an old age and die with many grandchildren. And I simply shook my head and said: "To be honest, ma'am, I never considered living to an old age. I have just sort of assumed that I would die before then." I think I left her speechless with such a contrary view towards life. I knew that many students in that room lived with a invincible kind of attitude, that they would always have tomorrow. And what I said that day, brought silence to the room. They did not know what to say to someone who spoke of dying as an event that was to happen within seconds rather than years.

While I am about four years older now, I still live my days expecting death to be a reality that may be just around the corner. I stand thankful for the four years the Lord has given me after that speech in front of that class. And I can tell you for sure. . . I'm still living, loving, and laughing. But there are times when I wonder what I truly want out of this life. There are days when I make the same plans that everyone else makes: education, career, finances, and so forth. Then, there are days when I wonder when it will all end, when I can finally just pursue my one passion without everything else getting in the way. See, I don't fear death nearly as much as I do a worldly life. I am always told that everything in this world takes money. No, it doesn't. I can leave everything I own right now, walk away with the clothes on my back, and leave this nation to another and will probably find a place somewhere. I already have a home in Heaven, and it is waiting for me to return. Until then, I am simply a traveler seeking a place to exist for the time being. My impact on this world may be small, it may be large. It does not matter. All that matters is that I make the choice every second of my life to live like it were my last in the Lord's name.

I cannot even begin to describe the passion that simply takes hold of my heart these days. There is this feeling that my life is whole lot simpler, a whole lot more real. I have given up the planning step-by-step for the future or hoping that there is one. I simply listen to the calling of my heart and go where the Lord has given me a passion for. I live each second striving to make the choice between Him and the world in everything I do. I live and breath purely because of His grace and His love for me. I live with a drive that I want my life to mean something, mean something for Him and no one else. This life is not enough for me. This trivial existence on some planet is not enough for me. I am left suffocating when I live within the boundaries of this world. But, folks, Jesus is enough for me. Jesus holds the keys to my adventures, triumphs, and failures. Jesus is my all.

And I stand here to tell you that this life, if not lived within His life, is not enough for you. You will grow faint and weary; you will stumble and fall. But, not I. I will soar on wings like eagles. I will run and not faint. I will walk and not fall. I live within a power is the so much greater than I; so much more inspiring and breath-taking than I. I grow weary when I try to fix things myself. I fall when I try to take Jesus's passion out of life. I stumble when I silence the songs of His praises and His promises upon my lips. I cannot stand still. When I gave every piece of my life to my Lord, something greater, something more powerful than I can describe took place in my heart. I found the adventure, the thrill I had been seeking for years.

See, we do not tire or fade away when the passion of Jesus Christ grips our hearts and lives. How can we? We become a temple, a holy body in which His spirit dwells in. And as the spirit grows in us, so will the passion. God has the power to do absolutely amazing things in our lives, and things not necessarily noticed by the public. When you give Jesus your all, you cannot prepare for where He will take you, on what awe-inspiring journey you will take apart in. I stand here and I make a choice, every second I live and every second death comes closer to reality: will I let His passion be silent or will I shout it to the nations at every opportunity? As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. What about you?


  1. Wonderful thoughts, Hannah. I completely agree with you. I want out of this frail tent that collapses every time someone pokes it. "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus!"

  2. Thank you, dear for writing from the depths of your heart. It is when you do so that I am most unutterably blessed. I too desire eternity with Jesus. With every breath I take I will strive to bring glory to my Saviour, but with every moment I will look forward to the day that I will be reunited with Him in His glory.

  3. My dear, this post really and truly spoke to my heart. As I read through it again this evening, and as I compare it to my own journey with Christ that has been taking place in my own life lately, reading this has brought me to tears. *smiles*

    "I live with a drive that I want my life to mean something, mean something for Him and no one else."

    My dear, as you wrote that from your heart, that is also the cry of mine! The whole post was a blessing to read (and what I felt to be identical to my own heart right now), and the whole time, both times, while reading it, I found myself saying, "Yes, Lord, exactly. Amen!" I love you heaps, dearest!

  4. Amen, dear sister! :) Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

  5. Hannah, you have truly touched me. I think God is trying to teach me about this...I just had a dream last night that was quite nightmarish, yet beautiful. As I was trying to make sense of it just a moment ago, I randomly decided to read your blog. This post brought my dream to light, and definitely is what I needed to hear! Thank you for posting!

  6. Qouted (My impact on this world may be small, it may be large. It does not matter. All that matters is that I make the choice every second of my life to live the Lord's name. )

    All for Him...there is not greater life to live, no greater purpose - than to live for Him who lived and died and rose again for us...and the future is bright in eternity...

    Plese Feel free to check out my blog page too, also thank you sister in Christ - for the encouragment, I whole heartedly agree with your passion. - Lindi (purpose proposed)